Whether teenagers discuss it with their parents or not, they are likely to feel some aspect of social pressure regarding the initiation of sexual activity. In counseling our teenage girls, I try to get them to assess their own attitudes regarding their readiness for sexual activity, as well as their understanding of the potential consequences of engaging in sex, like risks for stds, pregnancy and social stigmata.
I love giving them my “It’s your Choice” talk, encouraging them on the option of abstinence, or waiting on sex. I want them to understand that the decision to engage in sex, is just one of the many decisions they’ll have to make for themselves, and that making a ‘good decision’, means understanding the risks of the behavior.
Would you describe your sexual response as ‘fireworks’…‘a budding flame’…or ‘not much at all’? Despite our societal conditioning of the ‘typical’ female orgasmic response, not all women experience “fireworks” at climax (like in the movies,)…possibly leaving those women with a ‘less than typical’ response, left wondering…‘Is there something wrong with me?’
If you experience ‘fireworks’, that’s great! But not all women experience ‘fireworks’ with climax (orgasm.) In fact, less than a third of women even consistently experience orgasm with sex. Like other sensory responses in our body, the frequency and quality of our individual sexual response vary amongst women (and often vary amongst experiences). Just like the ‘savor’ of chocolate cake, the ‘scent’ of spicy perfume, the picturesque ‘vision’ of a floral garden bring different sensations to different women, so does our experience of sex. Women vary in type, intensity and duration of orgasm, as well as in our level of satisfaction with the experience.
There is no ‘right’ answer for your response to sexual stimulation. A ‘less than typical’ response, is only a problem if you see it as one, and desire more from your experience.