“My husband wants me to discuss my lack of interest in sex”… As Gynecologists, this is a patient concern not unfamiliar to us. Has low sexual desire been a concern for you in your relationship? Would you ever consider the use of a medication for its improvement? Well I’d hope that most of my patients would want to first examine the possible reasons for low libido, even if their answer is ‘yes’ to trying a medication for it.
But herein lies the concern. Defining the sources of low libido in women is not easy. Research tells us that nearly 4 in 10 women experience some degree of female sexual distress at some point in our lives. The definition of Female Hypoactive Sexual Disorder is made by conditions characterized by loss of sexual desire, impaired arousal, difficulty in achieving orgasm, or sexual pain, with low desire and sexual pain being the most common.
The stages of female sexualarousal have been well studied, and fairly well defined, since the 1960’s with research done by Masters and Johnson. However, the components of female sexualdesire remain complex. Sexual desire in women is likely a multi-factor phenomenon, involving biologic, psychologic and social factors, which can elude clear delineation.
Would you describe your sexual response as ‘fireworks’…‘a budding flame’…or ‘not much at all’? Despite our societal conditioning of the ‘typical’ female orgasmic response, not all women experience “fireworks” at climax (like in the movies,)…possibly leaving those women with a ‘less than typical’ response, left wondering…‘Is there something wrong with me?’
If you experience ‘fireworks’, that’s great! But not all women experience ‘fireworks’ with climax (orgasm.) In fact, less than a third of women even consistently experience orgasm with sex. Like other sensory responses in our body, the frequency and quality of our individual sexual response vary amongst women (and often vary amongst experiences). Just like the ‘savor’ of chocolate cake, the ‘scent’ of spicy perfume, the picturesque ‘vision’ of a floral garden bring different sensations to different women, so does our experience of sex. Women vary in type, intensity and duration of orgasm, as well as in our level of satisfaction with the experience.
There is no ‘right’ answer for your response to sexual stimulation. A ‘less than typical’ response, is only a problem if you see it as one, and desire more from your experience.